Reasonable Dissent

Simpsons take on religion

I thought I’d start this week out a little more light-heartedly. With that in mind, (and a recent post I found over on Friendly Atheist) I’d like to take this opportunity to tell everyone out there that The Simpsons is one of the greatest shows ever put on TV. I understand that it can be hard to get into with their 350+ episodes. You never know what you’re getting into, but trust me. It’s a smart, topical yet timeless, and hilarious show.

Since this is an atheist-themed blog, I’ll trot out a few of my favorite religion-based episodes or quotes. They don’t always have quite the edge to them that I might have used (didn’t want to risk the ratings hit?), I still love it.

Lisa:  Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?

Homer: Don’t worry, sweetheart.  If I’m wrong, I’ll recant on my deathbed.

– “Homer the Heretic”

Bart: I’m opting for the life of sin followed by a presto-chango deathbed repentence.

– “Faith Off”

I like these. They poke some fun at the idea that is in a lot of old Christian stories, and seems to be a pretty good loophole to living a good life. You can be forgiven any time you truly repent. Why not just wait until it’s about to matter?

Ned:          Homer, God didn’t set your house on fire.

Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and  neighbors when they came to your aid,  be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] … miscellaneous.

Apu:          Hindu!  There <are> 700 million of us.

Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that’s super.

– “Homer the Heretic”

Lovejoy:  Marge, you are a real timesaver.  Do you know, thanks to you,

that I discovered a form of shame that’s gone unused for 700

years?

– “In Marge We Trust”

Skinner:  Mother’s gone too far — she’s put cardboard over her half of

the television.  We rented “Man Without a Face” — I didn’t

even know we had a problem!  What should I do?

Lovejoy:  Well, maybe you should read your Bible.

Skinner:  Um, any particular passage?

Lovejoy:  Oh, it’s all good.

– “In Marge We Trust”

Flanders: They’re telling people we’re descended from a pack of apes even though there’s nothing about it in the bible!

Rev. Lovejoy: Ned, you’ve gotta take this thing with a grain of salt, I mean, heh, come on…

– “The Monkey Suit”

Lovejoy cracks me up. He’s the stereotypical jaded preacher.

Lisa: [uncovers wingson a skeleton] Oh my goodness.

Millhouse: What is it Lisa?

Lisa: It looks like a human skeleton, but these other bones almost look  like wings.

Ned: You mean like an angel!

Lisa: Well obvioiusly that’s impossible–

Moe: Yeah, Lisa’s right, It’s an angel!

–”Lisa the Skeptic”

Chief Wiggum: Yeah Lisa, everybody’s heard of angels, but who’s heard of a neanderthal!

– “Lisa the Skeptic”

Lisa: Excuse me, I took a piece of this skeleton for scientific ananalys,  soon you will have all the facts.

All: You did what? Stupid! [boos are heard].

Homer: Facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that’s even  remotely true! Facts, schmacks.

– “Lisa the Skeptic”

Lovejoy: Well, It appears science has failed again, in the face of  overwhelming religious evidence.

– “Lisa the Skeptic”

Ned: Science is like a blabber mouth who ruins a movie by  telling you how it ends. Well I say that there are some things  we don’t wanna know. Important things!

– “Lisa the Skeptic”

It’s funny how people don’t want to accept something that contradicts their beliefs, even to the point of active resistance. Also, confirmation bias is a powerful thing, isn’t it?

Todd: Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can’t remember.

Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that’s that!

Todd: But you said a stork brought me.

Ned: Umm…that was God disguised as a stork.

Rod: Then who brings baby storks?

Ned: There’s no such thing as storks! It’s all God!

Todd: (Kneeling beside a statue of a stork) Please bless Daddy and Roddy…

Ned: Stop praying to that stork!

– “The Monkey Suit”

It’s hard to keep answering real questions from your kids and not get tied up by your own biased beliefs isn’t it?

Bart: Easy on the zeal churchos, I’ve got something to say. Don’t you get it? It’s all Christianity people! The little stupid differences are nothing next to the big stupid similarities!

Ned: That’s right! Can’t we all just get together and focus on our real enemies: monogamous gays and stem cells…

– “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star”

This is just a great line. I think the best part is about “monogamous gays”. It’s hilarious how much they will fight against gay marriage and claim some family-destroying promiscuity, when actually the ones who want to marry obviously want to be monogamous.

Father Sean: I was laying in the gutter picking up me teeth when St. Peter himself appears before me. ‘Sean, yah wanker’, he says, ‘repent of your wicked ways or sod off!’. Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.

– “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star”

Something about this one just makes me laugh. He’s having a halucination that seems so un-divine, and it prompts him to become a priest.

These last couple of episodes are some of my favorites, but there are tons of little gems all throughout the show. Really, I have to just cut myself off, or this post would be way too long.  Maybe I’ll do follow ups to this post as I remember more that I like. I’ll leave you with one parting thought:

“Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion.” – Superintendent Chalmers